No Speeding. No Shooting. No Dumping.

Part of my interest in this project is to overcome the distinction between nature/the natural and the human (and, I suppose, the civilized and technological and other human inventions and interventions in nature), all those strange conceptions about humans somehow being outside of or separate from or more special than the rest of nature. Also, to overcome the now nearly instinctual feeling that I want to get away from people and get out into nature. And, too, to get over my general peevishness about the myriad ways humans despoil, abuse, and ruin nature.

I guess I have a lot of negative or generally unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors to address in this yearlong practice of trying to pay attention and re-membering myself to nature.

On the way out to the area where I live is a sign along Southern Ave, right where Rio Rancho city limit yields to Sandoval County land: "No Speeding. No Shooting. No Dumping." Speeding seems curtailed by the landscape itself: the roads are not conducive to speeding unless you are thrill-seeking on a dirt bike or ATV or really don't care that much for your vehicle's suspension system. Shooting and dumping? Different story entirely. The region's too big to be patrolled. Stolen vehicles are dumped out here as are unwanted dogs. Lots of valleys and washes to hide the unloading of unwanted trash, perhaps unwilling to pay landfill fees. Old tires by the dozens, appliances, furniture, building and remodeling debris, diapers. Three or four times a year the landfill holds a half-day where residents can bring their trash for free. I've gathered a load from these desert piles twice now but this makes little difference. I have few ideas how to stop the dumping, which bothers me more than the shooting. The shooting is largely target practice, though I also know sometimes coyotes are the target and I don't like that. I've found all manner of empties from .12 and .20 gauge shotgun shells to .22 cal, 9mm and .243 casings. The gunfire makes me flinch and tense: do they know I'm walking nearby? What's the range and direction of the target practice? Why leave all the empties?

Anyway, far from pristine out here. This is the human in nature: what we do, who we are. Can I love even this part of myself?